Kalyna is a fierce life changer by helping clients to challenge their status quo and take the leap to create a life that’s authentically rewarding. She works as a career transition coach and human capital developer who has a relentless drive for helping clients perform at the top of their game. She supports both individual clients in achieving their career goals as well as optimizing team performance within organizations. She speaks and runs “play-shops" with groups surrounding authentic decision making and creating a life with purpose. Kalyna has a global perspective working with clients from North America to Nepal.
Start Making Personally Fulfilling Decisions That Leave You Feeling Great!
Your mom says you definitely have to go to grad school. Your best friend told you that it’s way too early to settle down. Your grandma keeps asking why you’re not married yet. Your girlfriend wants to move in together. Your dog wants to go camping. Your academic advisor says you should hands down be a lawyer because you’re amazing at arguing over your final grades. Your manager believes it would be best for the team if you worked this weekend.
Who do you listen to? Which opinions are valuable and which ones are pulling you away from what you truly want?
You can’t make good decisions for yourself if you’re always focused on what another person is saying. That’s anyone who gives you advice that they’re certain you should follow, or else. Or else what? If you don’t settle down, or become a lawyer, are you doomed to fail?
Following other people’s advice is a crutch, and it’s easy because then you’re not responsible for the outcome. If you want to live in a way that is personally fulfilling, you have to take responsibility for the choices you are making and your life's direction. That puts you back in control and makes you the only person responsible for your decisions.
We are given constant judgments and opinions throughout the day from strangers, media, friends and co-workers. It’s not a new concept that we’re inundated with ideas of how we should live every minute we’re awake.
So, what do you do about it?
When you’ve got to make a decision, and you’re not sure who exactly you’re making it for, take a minute alone. I mean no phone or Netflix in the background. Alone. Physically remove yourself from every outside source that is clouding your judgment.
Then consider this:
- Did I come up with this idea or was it someone else?
Our minds fool us all the time. Is this something you would do if no one else knew about it? Do you feel guilty about letting someone else down or being judged by them if you don’t make the “right” choice?
- How do I feel about the potential outcome of this decision? Be honest with yourself here, you’re the one who wins.
Am I excited by the idea of going camping for the weekend with friends or is the beach more desirable? Does engineering or taking care of patients make me energized, or are those the safe choices that Dad wants me to make?
We constantly convince ourselves out of what we want. Don’t discredit your feelings. We’re told to be logical, except when you’ve been at a job for 6 months and never want to get out of bed in the morning, that says something logic might not identify.
It’s easy to tell yourself that something another person wants for you is actually what you want. When you think about being a lawyer, doctor or parent does that make you feel good/energized/positive, or do you feel wrong/bad/uneasy? Navigating these feelings is tough and takes some real guts. The good news is that you already have the answers, right now. All you have to do is be real with yourself about the feelings you have and make choices that keep your best interests in mind when it comes to the way you choose to live your life.
- Make the choice that feels good/right/honest/authentic.
Try this once or twice and tell me I’m wrong when I say it feels amazing. Blow off the plans with the acquaintance that you’ve been dreading. Stay in and eat ice cream because you won’t enjoy being out at a club if it’s not where you truly want to be.
Oh, and the judgement from everyone else? They will absolutely get over it. If they don’t, it’s your life that you’re living, not theirs. More often than not if the people close to you see you happy that’s all they want anyway.
The more we make choices that resonate with us, feel good and are aligned with what is important to us, the more fulfilled we feel on a daily basis. Accepting responsibility for our life and the decisions we make also puts us back in the driver’s seat which gives us the power to do just about anything.
Sticking with your current decision-making process is giving you predictable results. Are you happy with them?
I bet deep down you know you could be doing better somehow.
What’s the missing piece? Authenticity.
Being real with yourself is where the process of changing your life starts.
Make a choice based on what you need today and let me know how it goes in the comments section!