The Power of Asking the Right Questions

‘Listening is a skill,’ is a phrase used throughout our lives. This timeless expression is a test on our ability to effectively grasp techniques, influence our memory, and understand others through the context of words.

Have you ever attended a yoga or pilates class and listened to or observed the instructor as they guided you through the routine? Or perhaps you are on the sports field playing golf, or in the ocean canoeing? The methods of listening in these different settings are often influenced through sound, sight and related objects. The sound of waves and the water current inform your feelings of safety when canoeing by the seaside. Playing golf has similar environmental cues, the objects and environment influences how you decide your next move, as well as how your body should participate in swinging the ball where it needs to go. Some of the key contributing factors that shift your natural reactions can be observed in yoga and pilates, too. Here, you become boldly aware of noticing what your body senses and how your body experiences stretching and restrictions. You are listening in each of these situations.

Let’s come to the present moment and trace your interactions when you’re in online meetings and team project planning. Is your role participative, interactive or distant and unengaged? What social cues and signals give you the ability to participate and share equal value for the purpose of the meeting? For the next few moments of being present, I invite you to stay aware of the following:

• Participative listening - where you receive suggestions and provide suggestions with a common goal aimed at innovation, building, and solving problems, etc. 
• Interactive Listening - where you receive suggestions, ask for clarification, and are a part of conversations.
• Distant and disengaged listening happens at a disinterested level for various reasons. Feeling this way may also be a true reflection of you taking notice of what you do and don’t value in these settings.

Levels and skills of listening are a window to your personal primary values in what matters most, and knowing how and when to ask that valuable question is a reward for your time. Caroline Reidy contributes her points in The Art of Asking the Right Questions in her TEDx Tralee talk.

To be conscious of listening is to be aware of how and what you listen to. Here are some mindful phrases to say that help you maximize your listening experience:

• “Am I understanding correctly when you say (x)?”
• “I trust you have a sound idea, judgment, and understanding of this. Please share your thoughts?”
• “If we looked at it this way, I suggest or think it will get us through to this (x) goal.”
• “In addition to what is being discussed, I have a question that is challenging for me to answer, I’d like your thoughts on it.”
• “What might we not have factored into this equation?”

As a result of being aware when you listen, notice how effective you become with your time, productivity, and how you show up to interactions with people around you. It’s when you fully participate in your own life that you begin to experience an awareness of others. After all, the right framing of questions leads to meaningful conversations that deepen relationships and positively reward your investment of time.