Reflective Listening

In a world of noise, distraction and advertising, there is a sort of chaos in knowing when and who to listen to, even ourselves. In us all is a power tool we carry to stand in our truest-selves among those we care about and those that inform and shape our values, principles and influence. Reflective listening is a tool for us to navigate who we are in the world with others, listening is an aid to better understanding who we are for ourselves and others. It helps us keep track of our past together with being better today for a purposeful future.

Two Methods To Promote Reflective Listening

Journaling is best used to express our thoughts through the use of words. This reflective thinking methodology helps us detect and dig into finding our inner conversation that impacts how we show up in the world. Have you noticed, through mindful awareness, that there are many voices in our mind that also dominate when (1) making decisions, (2) thinking about oneself, and (3) contemplating our behavior? Reflective thinking through journaling helps unpack the details of this so we are positioned to work towards knowing exactly what we want. Journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts and feelings to understand them clearly. To get you started, Here are a few things to consider writing out to get you started:

• Top 3 most dominating thoughts filling the mind. This can be influenced by your relationships with others or influenced by the internal story you tell yourself through external influence
• How effective are these thoughts in who you are? (describe whether this helps you be your best, or critical and judgemental of self). This can be influenced through success, leadership, imposter syndrome, doubt etc
• What would it look like for you to (1) continue loving who you are and pursuing opportunities to expand or (2) work towards a new sense of self through the choices you intentionally make?

Speaking is perhaps more effective for you? The vulnerability that arrives when speaking is supported by a safe space. This safe space may be your mentor, your partner, a relative, and in the professional setting it is your coach and/or therapist. Reflective speaking is a methodology that informs being seen by others. Though this method is effective when self-aware, we also need to consider setting boundaries on inputs from listeners that may hinder us to see ourselves. Considering these questions to your inner self when being listened to:

• Is speaking about something giving me space to really solve my own problems?
• Am I hearing myself and being guided by my inner voice as someone listens to me?
• Am I using the right language to uplift what I am speaking about? What does the right language sound like?

In both journaling and reflective listening are levels of self-awareness that we know of ourselves. The inner voice that stems from reflective listening mirrors the world around us which charges the inner voice. Ask yourself the questions above and see where you land with yourself. 

Which areas of your life are you currently reflecting on that are in need of change?

For more activities and guides on reflective thinking, explore the Erickson resource center, or try this guided reflective exercise.