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What's My Blind Spot?

written byBrenda Abdilla, CPCon 16/01/2012

Everyone has a blind spot.

A blind spot is a habit or way of behaving that everyone knows about you – except perhaps YOU. Identifying your blind spot will help you recognize when your behavior is being dictated by it and can help you overcome it.  

Pick only ONE description from the bulleted list below and then, for the next week, follow the corresponding numbered exercise to better “see” that blind spot.

  • I am rarely on time. Somehow I am nearly always running late. (1)
  • I do not stand up for myself. I hate conflict and avoid it with regularity. (2)
  • I have little patience. Nothing moves fast enough for me and my impatience probably shows. (3)
  • I talk a lot. I notice that I interrupt people, but often I cannot help it. I have a lot to say. (4)
  • I have trouble making up my mind. I need to take time to ponder, but often the pondering leads to more indecisiveness. (5)
  • I do not like change. I may come around to it eventually, but I am always resistant initially. (6)
  1. When it comes to time, people either run early or they run late. You either are overcommitted, or not stopping your prior activity soon enough. For the next seven days your , ask is to be early for everything. Bring something to read or work on, but be at least five minutes early for every single appointment and commitment. See how you feel at the end of the week.  
     
  2. People are either assertive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. There is no such thing as passive-passive, so while you may think you are avoiding conflict, you are actually adding to it in an underhanded way. During the next seven days, choose at least three minor injustices that you would usually let ride and force yourself to address them. Push back verbally on the responsible party; no emails, just say it. See if the world comes to an end. If not, move on to bigger things.  
     
  3. Impatience costs you and you know it. Take it from scientist Ernst Fehr, who said, “In experiments, animals often prefer smaller, immediate rewards over larger rewards that are deferred – thus failing to maximize their total gain. Many people exhibit similar behaviour.” Throughout the next seven days, select a coping behavior and commit to it. Choose yoga, deep breathing, singing, prayer, meditation – anything that helps you relax – and do it quietly by yourself. Try it!  
     
  4. Keep your mouth closed and discover a whole new world! I kid you because I love you, fellow talker! But really, concentrate on saying less for the next seven days. Listen more, talk less, emote less. Just let other people talk for seven whole days. It’s fun!  
     
  5. Make decisions on the BIG stuff to help your overall decision-making. Right now you are probably overwhelmed because you are grouping ALL the decisions you are presented with into one giant, scary pile. You will feel much better, however, if you tackle a few big decisions right away. Those big “yes” or “no” decisions will likely either make the smaller ones seem irrelevant or become part of the new plan. You have seven days to go BIG or go home on at least one decision!  
     
  6. You are not getting the whole story, you are resistant to change. Believe it or not, the people in your life and work are most likely altering the truth to avoid conflict with you. They are either telling you less, sugarcoating it, or simply not telling you things you might actually want to know. If you want the “whole enchilada” in life then you will have to be more open to change. In the next seven days, tell four people in your life that you are trying to be more accepting of change-then follow through on that statement. See what happens.

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