Richard Hyams CSFC, Relationship Horticulturist and Coach, and Senior Trainer with Erickson College

If you know anything about coaching you might know that a coach generally assist clients to articulate and define their most important goals and further assists them to design action plans in order to achieve those very goals. It would seem to follow then that a relationship coach (a coach whose speciality is relationships) would assist their clients to define their relationship goals and elicit their values and design actions plan to achieve a higher quality of relationships whether romantic, familial and/or professional.

But relationship coaching can, and should be in my opinion, much more than that. A coach can certainly help you come up with an action plan of how to behave differently with another person or assist you in outlining a list of attributes for your ideal lover and again, a plan to find him or her. I call this the “outer game” of relating. Focusing on actions and behaviors we take to gain a result. But as I state above, coaching, especially relationship coaching, can go much deeper than that. A good relationship coach will assist you with the “inner game” of relating. I have determined that the one thing that stops us from having good and glorious relationships with anyone and everyone are the unexamined, unquestioned beliefs we hold onto concerning what it means to relate to one another. In other words, the “inner game” means being willing to examine and change any of the thought patterns and beliefs about yourself and others that prevent you from having the relationship experiences you want. A coach can act as a valuable asset in this process.

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Joel Davis, P.C. Professional Coach - The Coaching Cabin

We often have become so overwhelmed with what others want, need, or think of us, that we lose our authentic self. If you are feeling frustrated, it’s most likely because the things you are doing and how you are being are not in alignment with who you are at your most authentic, deepest, and best level.

The frustration we feel is very real, but not in the way we often think it is. The frustration (believe it or not) is a gift, that arrives to inform us that how we are being and/or what we are doing is not in true service of us or those around us.

Instead of listening to the true message of frustration (which is that a change is needed) we often try to outwork, outsmart, or get a head of this frustration; any relief felt by these remedies are short-lived. As we continue to live outside of our authenticity, the frustration only returns again and again to remind us this is not who or how we are at our deepest and best levels.

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Dr. Marilyn Atkinson, Founder of Erickson College

It is useful to do a “gremlin stretch” once in a while to shake off winter’s reflexive comfort zones and prepare your vision for the amazing possibilities in store right around the corner. What old habit systems do you want to stretch beyond to make this year a great one?

For example, what are the secret dreams that call you this spring? Do you need to move past fear of dreaming and habits of small-minded attention? Begin the stretch I will describe here: Literally move up as on a high kite into the overview zone where you can see your timeline past, present and future. Focus on the future and in a pleasant reverie float above your timeline perhaps even 10 years out. When you enlarge your mindscape in this way, you can enlarge your vision and sense your own deep purpose. What are the key visions you want to see yourself engaged in? What do you aspire to? See them on the timeline.

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Tony Husted, PCC. Erickson Trainer & Owner of an International Coaching Business in Seattle, WA

There are many benefits to being a professional coach, from the financial aspect to the personal satisfaction of seeing others reach their full potential. It is exciting to complete the extensive life and business coach training required for such an influential profession, plus the continual drive to learn more everyday keeps a coach motivated. After all, it is easier to help others become successful when you are applying the principles of success to your own life. Even though you don’t have to be an expert in every client’s field, it can only increase your positive influence when you are able to model personal success in your own profession.

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Brenda Abdilla, Certified Coach, Denver CO

I find that people can be pretty hard on themselves when it comes to assessing their own skills and abilities. Being self -critical may help us move toward improvement, but only for about two seconds—the two seconds it takes for us to realize that we are not where we want to be. After that it is pointless to dwell on how we got there or how slow our progress has been. It’s better to focus on something more helpful-something more concrete.

In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell writes of The Rule of 10,000 Hours (1). The 10,000-hour rule basically tells us that we need 10,000 hours of practice to achieve expertise in a certain area.

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